Camping
by ShawnREV
Summary: Kakashi, Iruka, Naruto, Sasuke, Garra, Neji, Ino and Sakura go on a camping trip to the lake. Can anyone guess?
1. Foreword

**ATTENTION:**

The following is a semi-graphically depictive story in which one or more MALE character engages in some sort of yummy set of actions so that, if one had a good enough imagination, they would get a nosebleed.

Pretty much what I'm saying is boy-on-boy action, if you don't like, don't read. Don't say I didn't warn you.

**oh, and did I mention that any and ALL flames with regards to anything mentioned above will be used to roast marshmallows? Constructive criticism IS allowed.**

**None of the characters in this story are owned, or for that matter, operated (hehe), by myself, all characters are copyright (or what ever) Masashi Kishimoto.**

Also, READ AND FUCKING REVIEW!!

Well, I'm not forcing you, but, whilst emphasizing the "FUCKING" part, which should indicate to you that I am forcing you. But then again, I can't force you to do anything, only you can force yourself to do something. But then again, maybe I'm sub-consciously making you force yourself. But I can't make you do anything, only you can make yourself do something. So Maybe I'm suggesting to your sub-conscious that it should make you review. Yeah, that's it!

Can anyone say, "Redundant Much?"?


	2. Chapter 1

**ShawnREV – Camping – Chapter 1**

* * *

SH: Well, I have… 2, I think, projects going here, so I might be behind posting the chappies. As you may have noticed, the first chapter of EVERY fanfic I do is really short, but bear with me. Usually the reason for the first chappies being so short is that when I start a story, I just have an idea, but if I let it sit for an hour/day or two the plot develops in that stew I call my brain. Just for reference.

* * *

Naruto's POV:

Ok, so we (we being Sasuke, myself, Ino, Sakura, Iruka and Kakashi) are waiting for Garra and Neji so we can leave for the lake. Hehe… I wonder what's going to happen? I don't know why, but Mr. Icha Icha Paradise insisted that we get one of those nice busses. Not a beaver bus lines-type one, but a full out, big enough to be used as a primary living space sized RV camper. So, we all pitched in enough to get one with about the same square footage as the teachers lounge at the Konaha Academy, which is an amazing size for an RV.

poof

"Let's get going!", Garra and Neji said, appearing from a puff of smoke.

"It's about fucking time you assholes,", I said, "we've all been waiting here for a good hour and a half!".

"Well SOOOOOOORRYY!! No one's perfect!", Neji said.

So we got on the bus.

Not much happened during the ride… what did happen though, is as follows.

Sakura and Ino were sitting at the bar table at the back talking about how "soft" the other's hair was due to a new conditioner and how nice the other's makeup was because of their new shade of eyeliner or mascara or whatever.

Neji, Garra, Sasuke and myself were talking about random stuff, Garra was on his laptop watching some gay porn and, from the looks of it, was trying his hardest (no pun intended) to not pull his pants down and either start whacking off or make one of us suck him. Of course, we were all watching. The porn, I mean, not him resisting is urge.

Kakashi was driving, and Iruka was groping him. No one was really paying attention to them anyways.

The boys and me decided to play a random game of truth or dare, but it ended up that, since we were on a moving vehicle, it was mainly truths, some of which included someone asking another who in the group, if they had to choose, they would fuck. I'm assuming that this would be used later either in favor of or against the replier.

Abruptly bringing us to the end of our game was the yelling of Kakashi from the front, "We're Here!".


	3. Chapter 2

**ShawnREV – Camping – Chapter 2**

* * *

SH: I know I told you about the short chapters… this one is going to be too, cause I have nothing to do, and I'm home sick today, so I don't have much motivation, but I was bored so I thought I might as well do something. Talk about a run-on sentence. But I digress. Enjoy!

* * *

Naruto's POV:

In about half-an-hour, we had managed to get everything off the bus and set the tent up. Once again, this trip wasn't cheap, the tent was one of the modular tents, so we had 5 "mods" attached, 3 of them being our sleeping quarters, one of them being a larger eating quarters, and the last being a decent large sized gazebo, complete with a 360 view and mosquito screens, which, I'm assuming, will be nice for drinking coffee in the morning. Iruka and Kakashi boosted Candy Man by Christina Aguilera to the loudest volume they could without annoying the other people at the campsite, although I couldn't see any, and we only saw two other groups there on the way through.

"C'mon Guy's! I wanna go down to the lake for a swim!", Sakura said.

"Yeesh, we just got here. At least give us a minute to get our trunks out, unless of course you want us to go skinny-dipping. " I replied.

She just gave me a dirty look.

Me and the guys started looking through our bags for our trunks when Iruka walked in and told us, "Hey guys. Just so you know, it's you guys in the room, the girls in the next one over and Me and Kakashi on the end, ok?".

"No objections.", Neji said.

Iruka spun around with one of his "I'm going to get laid while you're all down at the lake!" looks on his face. Ugh. Those two really need to get a room.

Garra, being the private person he is, decided to run in to the bushes to get his trunks on.

Sasuke, being the anal-retentive bastard he is, went into the next, and currently unoccupied, room to change.

Me and Neji, being the "I don't give a fuck whether anyone sees what makes me a real man, and anyways, mine's probably a lot bigger than your anyways" kind of people just changed in the room.

I could have sworn I saw him drooling, but then again, it might have been me and my ego-centric mentality. Whatever.

"So, Naruto…..", Neji said, with a slight blush on his face.

"Yes… Quite…", I said.

"Truth or Dare?", he asked.

Then it popped into my head. What do you get when you have two or more pubescent boys, with no girls/adults around, playing truth and dare?

Hellz Yeah!

"DARE!!", I practically screamed.

Can anyone guess what's going to happen?

flip, flop, flip, flop

Please tell me that isn't either of the girls. I hope not. Neji was probably thinking the same thing.

Then the smexylicious form of Sasuke's shadow appeared. He walked in, seeing me and Neji in all our glory. He was either trying not to drool or pull out his meat… or both.

Sasuke then said this, "I dare Naruto to blow me!".

"Fuck you, Sasuke, that's what my dare was!", Neji said.

"Yeah, but I said it first! Sucker! No pun intended, by the way.", Sasuke retorted.

I think Neji wanted to slap him.

"Duck! Catfight!", I screamed. And then I ducked.

So, I simply yanked Sasuke's trunks down and…

"Nhhh…. Mmm", Sasuke half-moaned and half-grunted.

"Naruto, you owe me sooooo bad.", Neji said.

I tried to nod.

"Fuck Naruto… where did you learn to do this? Mhhhhh….", Sasuke "asked".

I half-chuckled. Or, tried to, anyways.

"Naruto, I'm gonna ccccuuuummmmmm……. Ohhhhh God, Naruto…", Sasuke said/screamed/moaned.

"Mmmmm…", I said, "Tastes like Vanilla Icecream!".


	4. Chapter 3

SH: For all of you that have actually read the inital 2 chapters, and to those of you who bitched at me about not continuing, i'm sorry. School's been a bitch, and i've finally found some spare time to do some writing. I was contemplating rewriting the story from the ground up, but i was too lazy, so we're continuing with the story, but in a totally different format, and the story will be told all from Naruto's POV. Please forgive me for all of the grammar and punctuation errors, as i've been up just under 24 hours and in running on empty :P suggestions are welcome, feel free to shoot me off an email.

Down at the beach, a varitable stones' throw from our campsite, lay Sasuke, Neji and myself, collecting our thoughts and reassigning blood flow.

Sasuke, to everyone's surprise, was virtually naked, aside from a thin, bluish/dark teal strip of fabric. Some call it a Speedo. Some call it the banana hammock. Others may call it the budgie smuggler. At any rate, I had no qualms _whatsoever_.

Scampering down the path at an alarming speed came Sakura and Ino who, at the sight of Sasuke's well displayed package, swooned with almost as much melodrama as a prime time soap opera. An almost invisible smirk melted into the widest grin on Sasuke's face.

Lugging Garra, a couple beach umbrellas, towels and 2 coolers was Kakashi and Iruka. More jaws dropped. No one was surprised.

"To whom do I owe the pleasure?", asked Iruka, with a wink.

"The pleasure is all mine.", said Sasuke.

Under his breath, Sasuke was heard saying, "Well actually, it was all Narutos about 10 minutes ago...". I was just praying no one else had heard.

After everything was set up, I inquired as to where i could find a beverage. After handing me a can of Coke, Kakashi asked, "Hey, man, where'd you stash the dope?". I told him I'd be back with it in a moment.

A quick jog and a little bit of searching later, I was headed back to the beach, pipe and lighter in one hand, bag 'o dope in the other. After passing that off to Kakashi, I headed back in Sasuke, Neji and Garra's direction.

"Gimmeh hoots.", Garra told me. Not asked, not questioned, but told.

"Do you know how much we got before we left?" I ever so nonchalantley asked him.

"I unno...", he trailed off.

"We got 4 ounces. How much did you pitch for this?"

"I unno, like $30 or something."

"Well there ya go, dumbfuck." I shot at him. A grin creeping on to my face, I, sarcastically, of course, continued "Yo bitch, don'tchu be coppin' no 'tude with me! Sakura's got more say over who smokes it than the two of us combined, anyways, so...". At this point, I just decided to shut up... It'd just be waisting my breath.

In a very Bob Barker-esque voice, Iruka belted out "Come on DOWN!!!!!".

We all slowly made our lazy, albeit incredibly hot, asses over to the fold-open table where Kakashi and Iruka sat. Garra, immediatly upon noticing the freshly ground herb being rolled into a pineapple flavoured blunt wrap, screamed "SHOTGUN!!!". Immediatly followed by a pink streak flying through the air and making contact with the back of his head. "Jebus Christ, you goddamn feinder! Just for that, you're gonna have to wait until I pull out the pipe. Remember, the rule is: Counter-Clockwise. And plus, you know Naruto always gets seconds.". Garra just gave her an evil glare.

30 minutes, 2 blunts and a couple pipe bowls later, I sat there thinking.

_I wonder... If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? Is 2012 going to be the end of the world? Wait. The ultimate question... If space is space, then what is outside of it? I mean if you really think about it, the big bang created everything out of nothing. A nothingness; a quantum singularity, if you will. What would the big bang, after it started expanding, be expanding into? It must be expanding into something, like blowing up a balloon._

Then, for no apparent reason, I forgot what i was thinking about. Pulling me out of my mental monologue, an epiphany of biblical preportions, if you will, was the sound of a can of soda being opened.

"Oi! What does a guy have to do around here to get a drink?!" i asked, trying not to look too baked. Staring back at me with the reddest eyes i have ever seen was Iruka, who was in the process of munching out, hardcore. After trying to grunt out what i thought was "Dr. Pepper or Coke?", he gave me a weird look, shook his head and just pointed to the cooler.

After recieving a twisted look and a gesture to look to my left, i saw one of the most shocking things of my life... Ino shirtless. Apparently her and Sakura had gotten into the alcohol a little earlier than planned.

While unhooking her bra, Ino yelled out "This one's for you, Neji! Say hello to my two Mount Everests'!". Evidentally she haden't figured out that half of the men on the beach were having uncontrollable nosebleeds at this point.


End file.
